My Journey with Dread

Throughout my life, I've felt a sense of dread. Sometimes intense, but often just in the background, waiting for something bad to happen. Despite being an optimist who sees the glass as half full, I expect it to eventually shatter.

I imagine that my family and my experiences are how I have learned to feel dread. My parents were children of the Great Depression and my mother especially seemed to be waiting for the worst to knock at our door.  In life I have had difficult experiences which have impacted my sense of trust and safety.  I have a moderate level of trust.  
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With this as my baseline, dealing with the overwhelm of distress created by our societal divisions and conflicts, our loss of confidence in our political and governmental structures and an overall sense of lack of control, my sense of dread at times has grown tentacles reaching deeply into all of me.  I can at times see the world through black ink.
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This is not my first experience with significant dread.  I went deeply down the hole in 2004 when Bush was elected to a second term.  But I went to therapy and learned tools and approaches to manage my thoughts and emotions which proved to be very helpful.  Though not eliminating the dread, it made it more manageable. 

I became a mental health therapist in 2012 and since then have learned that living with a sense of dread is pretty common, even during good times. I worked with people during the pandemic who were on the early side of panic – confused, feeling unsafe, no idea what to do, fully immersed in dread.  Recently, I have noticed the same presentation in my current clients as they discuss the condition of our political system, government and society.  Where a few months ago it was more abstract, the impacts are becoming much more visible. And distress is escalating.  

​Dread can be dehibilitating.  Individually it can keep us from flourishing in life.  Collective dread can make us vulnerable to control and manipulation.  Learning to manage dread is of vital importance to ourselves and our society.